Sunday, July 23, 2017

Moments that Change Us

Its been a while since I actually sat down and posted something. Today is not a DIY, Essential Oil or a Decor post. I wanted to share a little of whats on my heart.

Moments that Change Us


You know how some times things happen and they put things in perspective? Yeah this is what I am going to talk about in this post.
Well sorry if this will sound like a jumble of thoughts, but I guess it really is. LOL As some of you know I have been "trying" the blogging thing for a while now. I stopped last year because it was taking way to much time and with our 3 adopted kids they required so much of our time, when they didn't I was completely drained (mentally and physically) and really could not keep up with trying to make it into a job that could bring in a small income.


You know I really do enjoy all the home decor, DIYs and coming up with blog posts but WOW it sure does take up so much of my time! It was not easy for me and it was not really going where I wanted it to go. I always said if it was in Gods plan then it would come and if not then it was not meant to be.

My very first Logo

Rebranded Logo for the website

So with that I shut down my social media and only worked on keeping my Instagram going. Well that started to grow in followers and it seemed to take less time and I was just enjoying taking my decor pictures and creating a separate account for my "Family and Pets". Of course that account did not grow because it was not "pet" enough and who wants to see my kids besides my family and some friends. WHY was I wanting to grow that account, WHY did it mean to much to me to have followers??? I know that people love to see my pups being Pups? Still not sure why today but all I can say is I removed the kids pictures and kept it as my pups..... which in turn did not grow either!

Well over these last couple of days I closed that account and now it is only my "fun" account and for a place to hold the extra accounts I want to follow and at this point not posting anything myself to it. Learning more about the relaxing AMSR kind of videos.....(thats another story for another time) LOL

Well needless to say I returned to blogging and all the media craziness back in January of this year (2017) and trying to redo some of my old DIYs, teaching how I use Essential Oils and some decor posts. Now I wanted to come up with a new Brand for my blog...... so here it became.....



Ta Da..... Oh now this logo will make this blog happen right.....LOL  Yeah ok, you keep telling yourself that! Needless to say I am faltering once again at trying to make this blogging thing more then just a hobby. Always trying to reach for the success that others have but I just can't seem to find the time or the drive to get it done! I mean making a blog into a full time job requires major time! I bow down to the MANY that have made it work for them. I have to say with this I call it another fail! But that is ok with me.......

I know it sounds harsh and I am so very hard on myself but I really wanted to make our family some money while working from home, I mean I made this commitment to these 3 kids. All of which have special needs because we adopted from the Foster System, they have struggles and issues far greater then most of us can ever understand. It requires a great amount of time, effort and strength! Now don't me wrong, parenting in general is HARD, FRUSTRATING AND SIMPLY TIRING!!!



Add to that the needs of a child coming from the Foster Care System that seems to be broken all on its own! These kids require Dr visits, Therapists visits, Phyc visits, medications and so much time just working through struggles that we as kids worked though ourselves!  Something I would not change because I feel it is our calling to be helping these 3 lives because healthy adults. That is a huge stress within itself but with all that aside many parents have the same worries and fears as we do! 

Well at this point I have to face the fact that this kind of stay at home work will not work out for me but why do I still try so hard to have that kind of income.......hmmmm I know because I really love it and I always wanted to do work that I loved. Well that might not be an option for me, it might not be Gods plan to have me serve in that way! WHY do I keep trying to do things MY WAY! Aughh!! When will I learn!?!?!?





OK now we know why things might not be working out for me.... it is not HIS plan, I know not everyone has my beliefs but I really know when it is something that God has in his plans it seems to come together organically, easier (not without hard work though) and things just flow. I am still trying to figure this out, maybe I will never find out.

Now, I have had other rough things happen in my life that made me realize certain things, I know that out of all bad things comes some good.

In this world it is so easy to let yourself get sucked back into thinking I am not good enough because........ Insert yours here! I am still doing that but last week things took another turn that made me realize where my time is most important right now!

After having our Jack Russell Rudi for 11 years (we adopted him when he was 8) we had to have him put down. It was time......  he was almost blind, deaf, had problems walking and some incontinence.

My heart broke, still hurts so deep a week later. I know I have to give myself time to heal and mourn his death but for some reason this is hitting me deeper..... to my core. Maybe it is a kind of death of what old things I was trying to make happen once again. See with Rudi's death I once again realized that I need to be more present, in the now, taking better care of my family but mostly Myself and my Husbands relationship.

I come to recognize that I am not worried about all my media, I am doing what I enjoy NOT what I feel I have to do. I know that my Instagram account will lose followers since I am putting what I LIKE on my account now instead of feeling that I have to live a double life since people do not want to see some real life mixed in with decor pictures! SO WHAT, who cares...... It is what makes me happy and it is REAL LIFE!

Some old pictures of Me and Rudi that I just love:




Yes he was my lovable "Jerk" Russell...LOL Anyone that had or has a JRT knows how they can be!


Pictures we took right before we were taking him to be put down.....




Thank you Rudi for opening my eyes up again to what I should be doing (listening to Gods plan) rather then what I "think" I should be doing....... Miss you my Doot man!





Well there you go, while I am still mourning my little old mans passing I know that there will be some good that comes from this, that is just how life is.  Right now I am overstressed, Depressed, unmotivated and my anxiety is through the roof! I can see some light at the end of the tunnel that is all I need right now! Thank you Lord for always showing me the way...... I am blessed for sure!

Well if your still sticking around for this babbling post I appreciate your loving support! Please let me know how you are all doing by leaving me a comment, I would love to hear from you all.

Thanks you, have a great day......

Be Blessed
Debra








4 comments:

  1. Hang in there Deb, WD-40 took 40 tries to perfect, (that's how it got it's name). Remember you never fail in life you just have learning experiences. I am so proud of you in all you have done. You have been blessed with creativity, compassion and determination. Your Faith is strong and you know God loves you. I love you too.

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    1. Thank you Mom, you have always supported me in all that I have done! Even if you did not agree with my choices... lol Your my biggest fan and I love you as well!!!

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  2. I love your Instagram accounts....I enjoy all the ideas..and pics of everything going on in your life..unlike a lot of accounts on here..I felt it was real...that you are real...Some days are the pits...and I liked knowing that's a norm in the world..

    You give me great ideas with my own house..and how to organize things....please take a breath and smile...you type we will read..lol

    You have a fantastic family!!...

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    1. Gail, I appreciate your kindness, friendship and all your beautiful flowers and landscape pictures! Thank you for all your support hun. 💕

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