Thursday, March 8, 2018

A Soft Place to Land {part 2}

Hey guys, through my improper grammar and misspelled words I am back to finish my story.....

A Soft Place to Land {part 2}



I wanted to share the rest of our story with you guys. I hope you have read part 1, if not follow the LINK HERE to read it. 

Yes, this journey of adopting through Foster Care is a messy one, that is for sure. I mean so much more then I thought I could handle but with my faith, we are moving forward. Not everyone has the same beliefs and that is ok, but for me my faith is the only way that I have the strength to get through this. So what ever faith, belief or higher power you believe in make sure you look to that for strength every day!



Remember to always look for the simple, little things that can make you laugh or smile each day. I noticed it is very easy to get lost in all of this, I have learned that "self care" is not being selfish but rather the other way around. This is a hard one for me right now but I am learning that it DOES make a big difference in how you handle the tough stuff. I can make all kinds of excuses or reasons (some of which are legit) but if your not healthy (in your mind) it does nothing to help these kids that come from hard places (a trauma early in life or in utero).

I have to say that there have been some great resources out there that helped us learn about our kids and why it is so important that they get the help that is needed. Thank goodness that we have found an awesome Trauma therapist that is now working with the whole family. The hardest thing is she does not take any insurance and we pay out of pocket each week for this service as well as a trauma related psychiatrist we need to see each month for meds. We feel this has to come first since this is a matter if life and death for these little lives.



It took us years to find the right person to help but some of the resources that have been a blessing to us is a Website/Blog called Confessions of an Adopted Parent. Also they have Podcasts that are so informative, you can hear them on their podcast website The Honesty Adoption Podcast .
Also a YouTube channel and Website called Empowered to Connect with Dr. Karyn Purvis that I shared earlier in PART 1 of this story.



If this info can help just one person that has or is going to adopt a child from Foster Care or an Orphanage (Overseas) then I will be glad. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but I knew this was the plan that the Lord set in front of me and I couldn't do any of this without the love and support of an awesome Husband. Thank you Kelly!!!!



There is one very informative podcast from Mike and Kristen Berry at The Honestly Adoption Podcast website, they chat with David and Jane Schooler which are one of the first people that understood how the brains works with children that have come from a early trauma(s). I will link it below for anyone who is insterested in listening.




Some crazy facts about women that take care for kids from Trauma. This info came from the above podcast (from Jane Schooler) and has really opened up my eyes to make sure I take the time for my own self care!

77% of women have chronic rage.
77% Feel Isolated 
50% Are on some kind of Meds for Depression and Anxiety 
93% Thought about running away.
and the a very sad statistic 14% thought about suicide. 

Wow once I heard this, I just stopped and cried because now I knew I was not crazy (well for the most part LOL) and it was a normal way of progressing though this whole journey.



Please understand that why I am sharing this info is because it has made a big change in the way I raise my kids and treat myself. If this can give any insight and help to just one person that needs to hear this today I am so glad because there were times at the beginning that I didn't think I could do this!!! Now don't get me wrong, I still have my moments and my days that it feel just to overwhelming but now I have some knowledge and know that it will be ok. Not easy but OK. Giving myself both time and grace!



Lets face it, parenting in general is one of the hardest things I think most people will do in their lives and for sure one of the most important.

I still meet with people that just don't get it, nor want to understand. I meet with Dr's that just want you in and out of their office. Even a new "Trauma" psychiatrist that wants to just prescribe meds! Teachers that I find myself teaching what will work with "my" kids because they tried the traditional way of discipline, dealing with 504 and IEP meetings, fighting for my kids rights. Life will always be helping others to understand a bit more about our kids minds and how they work, they are just as smart as others kids but they process information a little differently. And I am OK with that! I ACCEPT that and I wouldn't have them any other way!

This journey is a long one and I have to remember that before anything else (discipline) can work we first need to establish that connection to them. This takes years to happen, you always need to watch for those little steps forward and celebrate each one of them.




ultimately, I want our HOME to be a Soft Place to Land..........


Well if your still here...... Thanks so much for listening and taking an interest inside our world. I hope you all have a great day. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me. I would love to hear from you in the comments below, even if it is just to say HELLO.... :-) I love hearing that others are here as well. :-)

Be Blessed,
Debra











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